Mystery...Romance...Sci Fi...Humor... The joy of writing fiction - meeting brand new people in places that don't yet exist.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Things Your Burglar Won't Tell You

The other day I received an e-mail titled THINGS YOUR BURGLAR WON'T TELL YOU, which included a couple lists of safety hints.  I glanced at the lists, did the usual "yeah, yeah" and was about to hit delete when the thought struck me - a list like this could be handy the next time I'm writing about a break in.  Might be a snippet of an idea here.

Or it might just be good to know.


1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.

2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.

3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste... and taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.

4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I mght leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it.

5. If it snows while you're out of town, get a neighbor to create car and foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway.

6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don't let your alarm ompany install the control pad where I can see if it's set. That makes it too easy.

7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom - and your jewelry. It's not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.

8. It's raining, you're fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door - understandable. But understand this: I don't take a day off because of bad weather.

9. I always knock first. If you answer, I'll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don't take me up on it.)

10. Do you really think I won't look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.

11. Here's a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids' rooms.

12. You're right: I won't have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it's not bolted down, I'll take it with me.

13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system.  If you're reluctant to leave your TV on while you're out of town, you can buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the flickering glow of a real television.

LIST # 2

1. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.

2. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors.

3. I'll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he'll stop what he's doing and wait to hear it again.. If he doesn't hear it again, he'll just go back to what he was doing. It's human nature.

4. I'm not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it?

5. I love looking in your windows. I'm looking for signs that you're home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I'd like. I'll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to
pick my targets.

6. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It's easier than you think to look up your address.

7. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it's an invitation.

8. If you don't answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.

Another safety tip that could also find its way into a story...

"Wasp spray can shoot up to twenty feet away and is a lot more accurate than pepper spray.  With pepper spray you have to let you attacker get too close to you.  Wasp spray temporarily blinds an attacker until he can get to the hospital for an antidote."

Most of these, I think we already know.   Of course, the gap between what we know and what we put into practice can be pretty wide sometimes.  Were any of these new to you, or maybe just a timely reminder?

Countdown to retirement and writing full time: 13 work days to go.

I'm currently enjoying: LAST TO DIE by Kate Brady. (No time for reading at all this weekend  So frustrating.)

Groaner of the Day: This woman ordered an exotic snake through a mail order operation. When the package arrived, there were only feathery necklaces in the box.

Apparently, the boa cons tricked her.


Dru said...

A few are new to me and I love today's groaner.

Maria Zannini said...

I would have never thought of the kids' rooms, but then I don't have kids.

--I do have rottweilers though. LOL.

Linda Leszczuk said...

Dru - My groaners and I appreciate your appreciation.

Linda Leszczuk said...

Maria - I believe when you have rottweilers, burglars are not a problem.

Or are you saying Tank and Iko have their own rooms?

Maria Zannini said...

Tank and Iko have deigned to let us share the master bedroom with them. We sometimes argue who gets the bed though.

My boys are good deterrents though. Whenever a stranger comes to the door, I let them see Tank first. Then it's: Yes, ma'am. No, ma'am. Nice doggy. What big teeth you have. LOL.

If they only knew.

Linda Leszczuk said...

I'm going to get a Beware of Dog sign. I thing it's only fair to let intruders know there's an almost deaf old dog sleeping somewhere in the house that they might trip over and hurt themselves.

Maria Zannini said...

LOL. All my dogs get like that when they've 'retired' from service. They're good door stops.

Mason Canyon said...

These are great reminders. A few I had never heard of, especially about the wasp spray. I always have that handy.

Thoughts in Progress

Linda Leszczuk said...

Mason - Do you keep the wasp spray handy for wasps or have you discovered another use for it I haven't heard about?

M said...

Stick with the Pepper Spray. Wasp Spray will NOT work on those who cannot feel pain i.e. drugs or alcohol. Pepper Spray is an inflammatory which will cause the eyes to slam shut no matter the situation. That’s why over 40,000 law enforcement agencies carry it nationwide and even the smallest canisters will fire 10 ft while the larger will canisters will fire 25 to 30 ft.

Linda Leszczuk said...

M - Thanks for the tip. I guess that's what I get for breaking my own rule and passing along something I got in an e-mail without checking it out first.

Jane Kennedy Sutton said...

What good reminders, especially for the holiday season. I also like your idea of using the lists to help when writing about a break-in.

Kimber Leszczuk. said...

I knew someone who didn't believe in banks and would hide huge wads of cash in large stuffed animals he had won at the fair. He kept them in his baby's room by the crib.

Linda Leszczuk said...

Jane - Thanks for coming by. I'm hoping I'll never need these tips for anything but writing ideas, but it's good to be aware.

Linda Leszczuk said...

Kimber - Hmmmm. I've noticed lots of stuffed animals at your house. Now where did I put my pocket knife...

Shellie said...

I love the tip on wasp spray. I keep it on hand because wasps are always making their nests on my porch. Good to know it has a double duty.

Linda Leszczuk said...

Shellie - One of my earlier commenters said it may the best tool for the job but I still think it would come in handy if there's no pepper spray at hand.

Have a great Thanksgiving.