Mystery...Romance...Sci Fi...Humor... The joy of writing fiction - meeting brand new people in places that don't yet exist.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Classic Insults

Okay, it's Friday and that means something silly on my blog.  Instead of adorable pictures or a funny video, today I offer something playfully nasty - a dozen classic insults.

An exchange between Winston Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend ... if you have one." -George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -Groucho Marx

I'm also happy to share some good news.  Our friend Stephanie who was critically injured in a bike/auto accident two weeks ago is not only still with us but opened her eyes yesterday, nodded to her parents that she recognized them and squeezed their hands.  My thanks again to all who offered prayers for Steph.  She's got a long road ahead of her but things are looking very hopeful.  Thank the Lord.

Have a great weekend.

My current word count: 30,858

I'm currently enjoying: Lion in the Valley by Elizabeth Peters (poor Peabody, I've left her in the desert with no reading time to bring her home)

Groaner of the day: (After all these classics, I'll make this a short one.)  My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, so she was re-possessed.


Dru said...

Ha ha ha, ROTL at your groaner.

I'm so glad the news is positive for your friend Stephanie. May she continue to get better.

Have a good weekend!

Maria Zannini said...

I knew most of these.

But for some reason, my husband often quotes the first one whenever we have a difference of opinion. LOL.

Linda Leszczuk said...

Thanks, Dru. You have a good one too.

Linda Leszczuk said...

Maria - Yeah, they're oldies. In fact, I'm so old that I might have been there when some of these were said.

I think we've lost the art of the truly classic insult.

nick said...

"His blog has all the originality of a Xerox machine"

Liz Fichera said...

Oh, these are perfect! I especially loved Winston Churchill's response. Thanks for the chuckles!

Linda Leszczuk said...

Good one, Nick.

Unless, of course, you're referring to my blog, in which case, I'm crushed.

Linda Leszczuk said...

Glad you liked them, Liz.