Friday Caption Contest

Happy Friday!

If Blogger is feeling more cooperative now, it's time for another Fun Friday Caption Contest.

You know the rules.  Give me your best caption for one or more of the pitchers below (more is merrier) and you'll be included in a drawing for a free book - your choice from assorted titles, some print, some e-books.

Don't forget to include your e-mail address in your comment.

Ready?  Let's caption!

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Did you come up with some good ones?

I've got some writing, some gardening, and several grandkids' lacrosse games on my agenda for the weekend.  What's on yours?


I'm currently enjoying: Beautiful Lies by Lisa Unger

Groaner of the Day: A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes.

"Oh" said the counselor, "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."
(all together now...grooooaaan)

Classic Insults

Okay, it's Friday and that means something silly on my blog.  Instead of adorable pictures or a funny video, today I offer something playfully nasty - a dozen classic insults.

An exchange between Winston Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend ... if you have one." -George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -Groucho Marx

I'm also happy to share some good news.  Our friend Stephanie who was critically injured in a bike/auto accident two weeks ago is not only still with us but opened her eyes yesterday, nodded to her parents that she recognized them and squeezed their hands.  My thanks again to all who offered prayers for Steph.  She's got a long road ahead of her but things are looking very hopeful.  Thank the Lord.

Have a great weekend.

My current word count: 30,858

I'm currently enjoying: Lion in the Valley by Elizabeth Peters (poor Peabody, I've left her in the desert with no reading time to bring her home)

Groaner of the day: (After all these classics, I'll make this a short one.)  My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, so she was re-possessed.

Caption Time - Let's Do It Again

Last Friday's Caption Time was such fun I'm going to do it again.  Give me your best captions for these pictures.  Let's see if we can top last week's.

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Do just one or all six.  These might be a little tougher than last week but I'll bet we get some good ones.  

My current word count: 16,653

I'm currently enjoying: Absolutely, Positively by Heather Webber

Groaner of the day: A woman walks into a vet's waiting room. She's dragging a wet rabbit on a leash. The rabbit does not want to be there.

"Sit, Fluffy," she says.

Fluffy glares at her, and sopping wet, jumps up on another customer's lap, getting water all over him.

"I said sit, now there's a good Fluffy," says the woman, slightly embarrassed. Fluffy, wet already, squats in the middle of the room and wets on the floor.

The woman, mortally embarrassed, shouts, "Damn it, Fluffy, will you be good?!" Fluffy then starts a fight with a Doberman and pursues it out of the office.

As the woman leaves to go after it, she turns to the rest of the flabbergasted customers and says, "Pardon me, I've just washed my hare, and can't do a thing with it!"

Caption Time - (Just For Fun)

Hi.  TGIF!  It's the end of the week and I think my grandson just broke my nose (seriously) so I guess it's time to relax and have some fun.

I've got some great pictures here that are just dying for captions. Take a look and give it a try.  Do just one or all seven.  Let see who comes up with the best ones.

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Come on, you know you've thought of at least one.  Gotta share it.  (You caption, I've got to find an ice pack.)

My current word count: 12,322

I'm currently enjoying: Lion in the Valley by Elizabeth Peters (I have got to make time to read this weekend.)

Groaner of the Day: A couple was dining at a fancy restaurant, and was most impressed with the broccoli with hollendaise sauce. They succeeded in coaxing the chef to their table to wax eloquent, and to beg for the recipe. Finally, he relented, "Madame, Monsieur, it is so simple. Make sure zee ingredients are FRESH. Zee broccoli should be just so. ....", and on and on he went. Finally, he emphasized, "...And zee most important thing of all, you MUST serve zee sauce on a chromium plate. Chrome is zee key!"

"A CHROMIUM plate?", one of them asked. "Why is this so important?"

"Sacre bleu, Madame and Monsieur, don't you know zhere is no plate like chrome for ze hollandaise?"